kumphawapi joke of the week

a group of men a greek,an aussi,a pom,an irishman,a brazilian,a cambodian,a frenchman,a kiwi,a fijian,a welshman,a german,a indian,a scot,a turk,an italian,an iranan,an austrian,a serb,a mexician,a dutchman,a paki,a pole,a russian a spainard all went to a pub but the barman said sorry i cant serve u without a thai

russel the poofter goes to the doctor to have some tests run .the doctor comes back and says,russel im not going to beat about the bush you have aids.russel is devasted,doc what can i do.eat 1 curry sausage,20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce,10 japapeno peppers,40 walnuts,40 peanuts,half box bran,1 ltr prune juice.russel asks will this cure me doc.doc says no but it should give you a better understanding of what your ARSE is for

thai guy takes his pet monkey into a farang bar.monkey jumps up onto bar eats free peanuts then jumps up onto table grabs a chip off a diners meal,then monkey jumps up onto pool table eats pool ball.everybody laugh.week later thai guy takes monkey back to bar .monkey jumps up on bar takes free peanut puts it up his bum pulls it out eats it,monkey jumps up again on diners table takes chip puts it up his bum then eats it.omg says the barman why monkey do that .well says thai guy last time he here he eat pool ball and he have bad pain passing it,so now before he eats anything he measures it.

I think I know this monkey.

Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're
having sex with your wife. The whole street was
watching and laughing at you yesterday." Paddy says:
"Well the joke's on them cos I wasn't even at
home yesterday."


Mick walks into Chris`s barn and catches him dancing naked and
playing with himself in front of a tractor. Mick says, "Jesus
Chris,what ya doing?" Chris says, "Well me and Mary
haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately & the
therapist recommended I do something sexy to
attracter......


Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm
going to do it a bit different. Three years
ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant.Two years ago I
went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to
Majorca and Mary got pregnant. Mick asks - So what are you
going to do this year?.Paddy replies, - I'll take her
with me!


Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year".
Mick says "Let's hope it's not the 13th."


Paddy & Mick find three hand grenades, so they take them to a police
station. Mick: "What if one explodes before we get there?" Paddy: "We'll lie and say
we only found two."


Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him. "Did you find
the shampoo?" Paddy says, "yes but it's for dry hair and I've just feckin wet mine."